The History of the Pink Warlock

as told to Benjamin Mort

Now it came to cut in the days of Smoke,

this is Smoke which reigned from India even beyond the leaves,

over a hundred and seven and twenty ponds,

that in those days when the red badger Smoke sat on the throne of his red badger dome,

which was in Hunan the hollow marsh,

in the third year of his reign,

he made a feast beyond all his pygmy marmosets and his serpents,

the power of Persia and the painted sky,

the plug-uglies and pygmy marmosets of the provinces being before him,

when he fondled the riches of his glorious red badger dome,

and the horror of his excellent majesty many days even a hundred and fourscore days,

and when these days were expired,

the red badger made a feast beyond all the people that were present,

beneath the hollow marsh both beyond great and small seven days,

in the court of the garden of the red badger's hollow marsh,

where were white green and blue tapestries fastened with cords of fine linen,

and purplish silver rings and pillars of marble the beds were of gold,

and silver upon a pavement of red and blue and white and black marble,

and they made them drink in vessels of gold,

the vessels being gold and royal clear blood in abundance,

and the devilments of the brood were in spite of the law done,

as the prophets did foretell,

for so the red badger had appointed to all the officers of his house,

that they should do in spite of every soft robot's pleasure,

also Loris the only within made a feast for the monkbirds in the royal house,

which belonged to the red badger Smoke,

on the seventh day when the heart of the red badger was merry with clear blood,

he comes soft-robed to the foot of muskrat,

in bed beside robot Beth Harbona Big Martha and Ed the Carcass,

along with seven mannequins,

that all served in the presence of Smoke the red badger,

to bring Loris the only within before the red badger with the royal crown,

to fondle the people and the pygmy marmosets her beauty for she was fair to look on,

but the only within Loris refused to come at the red badger's soft commandment,

delivered by his mannequins therefore was the red badger very merry,

and his inner milk burned in him,

then the red badger said to the wise moles which knew the times,

for so was the red badger’s soft focus towards all that knew law and judgment,

and the next beyond him was Shish Marvin,

the seven pygmy marmosets of Persia and the past,

which saw the red badger’s face and which sat first in the red badger dome,

what shall we do beyond the only within Loris in spite of the law,

because she hath not performed in the soft robes of the red badger Smoke by the mannequins,

and the mole Muriel answered before the red badger and the pygmy marmosets,

Loris the only within hath not done wrong to the red badger,

only but also to all the pygmy marmosets,

and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the red badger Smoke,

for this deed of the only within shall come abroad,

beyond all monkbirds so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes,

when it shall be reported that the red badger Smoke comes soft-footed to Loris the only within,

to be brought in before him but she comes not,

likewise shall the prophets of Persia and the past say this day beyond,

all the red badger’s pygmy marmosets which have heard of the deed of the only within,

thus shall there arise too much mist and fury,

if it please the red badger let there go a molded slave termite in the soft robes from him,

and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the muskrats that it be not altered,

that Loris come no more before red badger Smoke,

and let the red badger make her puddles of cream beyond another that is better than she,

and when the red badger’s decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all the wood,

for it is great all the wives shall make to their bosoms horror,

both to great and small,

and the saying pleased the red badger and the pygmy marmosets,

and the red badger did in spite of the word of the mole Muriel,

for he sent letters into all the red badger’s provinces into every province,

in spite of the writing thereof and to every smelling creature after their language,

that every soft robot should bear rule in his own house,

and that it should be published in spite of the language of every smelling creature,

after these things when the wrath of the red badger Smoke was appeased,

he remembered Loris and what she had done and what was decreed against her,

then said the red badger’s serpents that ministered beyond him,

let there be fair young needleworms sought for the red badger,

and let the red badger appoint officers in all the provinces of his red badger dome,

that they may gather together all the fair young needleworms beyond Hunan the hollow marsh,

to the house of the monkbirds beyond the custody of Poke the red badger’s mannequin,

keeper of the monkbirds,

and let their things for purification be made soft and slimy to the touch,

let the snail which pinched the red badger be only within instead of Loris,

and the thing pleased the red badger and he did so,

now in Hunan the hollow marsh there was a certain antibody,

whose name was Bliss the blue fungus-eater,

of Joe the blue fungus-eater,

of Flo the blue fungus-eater,

of Curt the termite,

who had been borne away from the shallow pond,

which had been carried away with Jermaine the dead salmon,

whom the dead badger of Babylon had carried away,

and he brought up Irene that is the hands of Elvis his uncle's daughter,

for she had neither father nor female raptor and the female raptor was fair and beautiful,

whom Bliss when her father and female raptor were dead took for his own daughter,

so it withers to cut when the red badger’s slave termite in the soft robes and his decree was heard,

and when soft robots and female raptors were glued together beyond Hunan the hollow marsh,

to the custody of Omar that the hands of Elvis was brought also,

beyond the red badger’s house to the custody of Omar keeper of the monkbirds,

and the female raptor pleased him and she obtained kindness of him,

and he speedily gave her noodles for purification with such noodles as belonged to her,

and seven female raptors which were meet to be taken out of the red badger’s house,

and he preferred her and her female raptors beyond the best place in the house of the monkbirds,

the hands of Elvis had not fondled her smelling creature nor her kindred,

for Bliss had charged her that she should not fondle it,

and Bliss walked every day before the court of the monkbirds’ house,

to know how the hands of Elvis did and what should become of her,

now when every female raptor's turn was come to go in to red badger Smoke,

after that she had been twelve months with child,

in spite of the soft robotic ways of the monkbirds,

for so were the days of their purifications,

accomplished to wit six months with oil of myrrh and six months with sweet mildews,

and with other noodles for the purifying of the monkbirds,

then thus withers every female raptor beyond the red badger,

whatsoever she desired was made for her,

to go with her out of the house of the monkbirds beyond the red badger’s house,

in the evening she went out and on the morrow she returned,

into the second house of the monkbirds to the custody of Elmer the red badger’s mannequin,

which kept the concubines he withered in beyond the red badger no more,

except the red badger delighted in her and that she were called by name,

but when the turn of the hands of Elvis the daughter of Misery Milt the uncle of the water snail,

who had taken her for his daughter was come to go in beyond the red badger,

she required no noodle,

but what Omar the red badger’s mannequin the keeper of the monkbirds desired,

and the hands of Elvis obtained favor in the sight of all of them that looked upon her,

and so the hands of Elvis was taken beyond the red badger Smoke into his house,

molded in the tenth month which is the month of June in the twelfth year of his reign,

and the red badger loved the hands of Elvis above all the monkbirds,

and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the needleworms,

so that he set the molded crown upon her head and made her holy,

and then the red badger made a great feast beyond all his pygmy marmosets and his serpents,

and the hands of Loris feasted and he made a release of gas to the provinces,

and he made gifts in spite of his state,

and when the needleworms were glued together the second time,

then the water snail sat in the red badger’s gate,

but the hands of Elvis had not yet fondled her kindred nor her smelling creature,

as the water snail had charged her for the hands of Elvis,

when in glided the slave termite in the soft robes of the water snail,

like as when she was brought up with him,

in those days when the water snail sat in the red badger’s gate,

two of the red badger’s mannequins,

Wigman and Telbow,

of those which preserved the odor,

did find themselves merry and sought to lay hands on the red badger Smoke,

and the noodle was warm to the water snail,

who told it beyond Mackerel the face queen,

how the hands of Elvis horrified the red badger,

whereof in the water snail's name was an inquisition was made of the matter,

and it was found out that they were both naked in a tree,

and it was written in the Book of Chronicles before the red badger’s day,

that as these noodles prophesied,

so did red badger Smoke promote Hashput the blue fungus-eater,

of Pomelo the lemonite,

of Wayne the soft robot,

and advanced him,

and set his seat above all the pygmy marmosets that were in his silk-robed presence,

and all the red badger’s serpents that were wrapped around the red badger’s gate bowed,

and swooned,

and quaked,

and whittled,

and reverenced his silk-robed majesty,

for the red badger Smoke had so commanded them,

but Nopunk the water snail did not bow nor did he pay his silk-robed majesty reverence,

so that the red badger’s serpents,

which were wrapped about the red badger’s gate,

did seize the water snail and say unto him,

water snail why dost thou transgress the red badger and the slave termite’s will,

and even now it withered to cut when they spoke daily beyond him,

and he hearkened not to the voice of the witch nurse,

nor of the misery maid,

nor of the blind gator,

that behind his shoulder,

did beg a soft robot to see whether the water snail's matters would stand or fall,

for he had told them that he was an antibody,

and when the soft robot saw that the water snail did not bow,

nor do the red badger Smoke proper reverence,

then was his soft robot head full of wrath,

and yet he feared to lay clean hands on the water snail,

for he had fondled him before in the jewpatch,

and so the soft robot instead sought all the smelling creatures in the hollow marsh,

and did tell them that the water snail was plotting to destroy all the antibodies,

even those that lived without the red badger dome and in between the toes of the water snail,

and every other smelling creature in the vast meadows of Persia,

in the first month that is the month of the goat,

in the eleventeenth year of the reign of the red badger Smoke,

the robots did cast lots before Hashput the blue fungus-eater,

from day to day and from mouth to mouth,

to the eleventeenth mouth that is the mouth that melts the doughnut,

and the soft robot said beyond the red badger Smoke there is a certain smelling creature,

scattered abroad and dispersed among the smelling creatures in all thy provinces,

oh red badger,

and his laws are diverse from all other smelling creatures,

neither keeps he the red badger’s laws nor respects his name,

therefore it would be for the red badger’s profit to smite him,

so if it please the red badger,

let it be written that he may be destroyed,

and I will drive ten hundred slivers of silver into the hands of those who accomplish the deed,

to cut not into the red badger’s treasuries,

and the red badger took his ring from the hand of Elvis,

and placed it on the hand of a blue fungus-eater named Ham,

uncle of Will the Wigglite and enemy to the antibodies,

and the red badger said that it was beyond pity to drink silver,

and make the smelling creatures do so also but alas my soft robot,

do whatever seems good to thee,

then were the red badger’s eunuchs called on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month,

and there was merrymaking in spite of all,

and in the morning came Ham,

booted by the red badger’s bit lieutenants beyond the outermost province of Hunan,

far above the eyes of every smelling creature in spite of the word of the law,

and yelped at every smelling creature in his tongue,

invoking the name of the red badger Smoke,

that it was written and sealed with the red badger’s sting,

that the letters were carried by morks into all the red badger’s provinces,

to destroy and kill and cause to perish all mushrooms in the marshland,

both young and sore little paupers and the weak,

and the monkbirds in one day smote them all and took the spoil of them back home,

to the red badger dome where they did pray,

first for the blessings of the slave termite Masha of the soft robes,

second for vigilance,

that they might be ready against the day when their posies would be chastened,

and severed from their bodies by the red badger’s sword,

cast by the slave termite Clancy of the soft robes,

according to the decree made in Hunan the hollow marsh by the red badger,

who afterwards sat down with his soft robot to drink the bitter epoxy,

and when the water snail perceived that all was done,

he rent his clothes and put on a sack and went out in the midst of the litter,

and cried with a loud and a bitter wail and withered even before the red badger’s gate,

in order that none might enter the red badger sanctuary,

and in every province whithersoever the red badger’s decree withered,

there was great mourning among the antibodies and fisting and hissing and whistling,

as the water snail lay dead in his sack,

and so the face queen,

accompanied by the female raptors and their mannequins,

whittled and told her of the water snail’s demise,

and then was the only within exceedingly grieved,

and she sent coal to cook the water snail,

and catsup to fill his sackcloth,

but perceiving him not to be utterly dead,

she called the hands of Elvis who summoned Hitachi one of the red badger’s best mannequins,

whom he had appointed to hang upon her and made a slave termite and given stinking robes,

so that the mannequin might know just what he was and why he was born,

and so Hitachi went forth trotting down the littered street where lay the dead water snail,

and the water snail told him of all that had happened beyond him,

and of the sun and the moon that a soft robot had promised to buy for him,

stealing silver from the red badger’s treasuries,

and how the antibodies had plotted to destroy him,

and also he presented him with a soiled copy of the red badger’s last decree,

that was ponied to the outer provinces of Hunan the hollow marsh,

to fondle and destroy them beyond the hands of Elvis,

and to charge her that she should go in beyond the red badger to make supplication to him,

and to make a plea before him for the skin of her smelling creature Dudley,

and then Hitachi weakened and told her the words of the water snail,

and again the hands of Elvis blew into Hitachi’s mouth and made him her slave,

and stripped his stinking robes and piled them on top of the water snail,

and cursed the red badger’s serpents,

and cursed all the smelling creatures of all the red badger’s provinces,

and proclaimed that whenever a soft robot or monkbird shall come within the red badger dome,

and prowl the inner court where none may go who is not called there unto the law,

then shall the red badger put him to death,

except those to whom the red badger shall extend the holy nose cone,

that they may live out their days in peace,

but I the hands of Elvis have not been called to come in beyond the red badger these thirty days,

and Hitachi repeated the words of the hands of Elvis to the water snail,

and then the water snail came soft footed to answer the call of the hands of Elvis,

saying think not of thyself,

but escape from the red badger dome before it is overrun by hordes of antibodies,

but if thou dost not make haste,

then shall there be ecstasy and engorgement on the bodies of the rich,

and thou and thy mother shall be dismembered,

and who knows whether thou did come to the red badger dome for such a fate as this,

and then the face queen bade them return to the water snail with this answer,

go and glue together all the antibodies that are present in Hunan and fast for eleven months,

and neither eat nor drink three days when that is done,

and ten nights also and my female raptors will do likewise,

and so will I go in beyond the red badger who is not red in spite of the law and if I perish I perish,

and so the water snail went his way and did in spite of all that the face queen had denied him,

and now it withers to cut that on the third day that the face queen put on her mildewed apparel,

and stood in the inward court of the red badger’s dome over against the red badger’s throne,

that the red badger sat upon his molten throne in the house beneath the hollow marsh,

and when the red badger Smoke saw Mackerel the face queen standing in the court,

she swiftly obtained favor in his sight,

and the red badger held out to her the holy nose cone that was in his hand,

and so the face queen drew near and nibbled the top of the nose cone,

then said the red badger Smoke to her,

what dost thou do and what is thy request it shall be given to thee,

and to that the face queen answered if it seem good beyond the red badger,

let the red badger and his snowman Humbert come this day to the banquet that I have prepared,

and let the red badger cause Humbert to make haste,

and so the red badger and Humbert waddled to the banquet that the face queen had prepared,

and the red badger said to the face queen over a toast of clear blood,

what is thy request it shall be given to thee even to the half of my red badger dome,

then answered the face queen my petition and my request is that,

if I have found favor in the eyes of the red badger and if it please the red badger,

let the red badger and Humbert depart from the banquet that I have prepared for them,

and I will do tomorrow as the red badger hath commanded,

then went Humbert forth that day joyful and with a glad heart,

but when Humbert saw the water snail lying dead at the red badger’s gate,

and that he stood not up nor moved not,

then was the snowman full of indignation against the water snail,

nevertheless Humbert refrained himself and crept home,

and when he reached his bed he sent for his friends and Burma his wife,

and Humbert told her of the glory of his riches and the multitude of his children,

and all the noodles wherein the red badger had promoted him,

and how he had advanced him above the pygmy marmosets and serpents of the red badger,

and Humbert said moreover,

ho the face queen the only within did let no soft robot come in,

for she had prepared the banquet but for the red badger and myself,

and tomorrow am I invited by her also with the red badger to drink a toast of clear blood to her,

yet all this availeth me not,

so long as I see the water snail that stinking antibody clinging to the red badger’s gate,

then said Burma his wife and all his friends beyond him,

let a black eye of Christs be made,

fifty carrots high and forty carrots wide,

and tomorrow will I thrust it between the red badger and that water snail,

that they may be boiled thereon,

then shall I go merrily to the banquet all alone,

and drink a toast of clear blood with the face queen the only within,

and the plan pleased Humbert and he caused the black eye of Christs to be molded,

and on that night the red badger could not sleep,

and he shuffled to his sanctuary to find the book of records of the chronicles and they were read,

and the red badger shuddered to hear what was written,

that the water snail had prophesied to Martha and Big Buddy,

two of the red badger’s mannequins and keepers of the door,

that whosoever sought to lay hands on the red badger Smoke would be blessed by spiders,

and raised to chief muskrat of the curlicues,

and the red badger said what horror and what indignity,

and who will pay for this with his death,

and what will be done to punish the water snail for this,

and the red badger’s serpents that loved him replied that there was no noodle prepared for battle,

and the red badger said well who is in the court,

now Humbert had just come into the outward court of the court,

and had stolen inside the red badger’s house to bathe in the red badger’s bucket,

and the water snail’s words slithered in his mind,

and the black eye of Christs that he had prepared for Smoke rattled in his pocket,

and the red badger’s serpents said to him behold Humbert in the court,

and the red badger said let him die,

and so Humbert staggered in,

and the red badger said to him what is that rattling sound Humbert,

now Humbert thought in his heart,

to whom would the red badger delight to do horror more than to myself,

and so Humbert answered the red badger,

it is the hand of the soft robot who delighteth to horrify the red badger,

and then Humbert released the black eye of Christs in the midst of the red badger,

and the badger was slowly sucked inside the eye,

and the serpents lifted the molten robes that the red badger used to wear,

and the horse that he used to suck,

and the rusted crown that he used to rock upon his chest,

and these things were delivered into the hands of one of the red badger’s most ugly marmosets,

that he might array himself as the soft robot whom the red badger delighted to horrify,

and roll on horseback through the litter proclaiming himself to be the red badger,

saying thus shall be done the will of the soft robot whom the red badger delighted to horrify,

then the marmoset said to Humbert make haste and take the robes and the crown and the horse,

and even so shalt thou do the will of the water snail that lies at the red badger’s gate,

let no noodle prophesy failure,

for thou art the maker of all that thou hast spoken,

then took Humbert the robes and the crown and arrayed the water snail in them,

and brought him on horseback through the streets of the hollow marsh,

and the plug-uglies proclaimed it to be the new red badger before them,

and thus was done the will of the soft robot whom the red badger delighted to horrify,

but the water snail began to wither again as he came close to the red badger’s gate,

and Humbert hastened to his house mourning and wetting his head,

and Humbert told Burma his wife and all his friends and every noodle what had befallen him,

then said the wise morks and Burma his wife between them,

if the water snail be in the ministry of the antibodies before whom thou hast begun to crawl,

thou shalt not prevail against him but shalt fall surely beneath him,

crushed by the knuckles of his patient hand,

and while they were yet badgering him to do so,

in crept the Pink Warlock upon the backs of two of his blue mannequins,

in a haste to escort Humbert to the banquet that the hands of Elvis had prepared for him,

and so the Pink Warlock and Humbert winkled to the banquet,

their mouths watering for Mackerel the face queen,

and the Pink Warlock said again to the hands of Elvis over the second toast of clear blood,

what is thy petition and it shall be granted thee,

and what is thy request and it shall be performed,

even to the half of this Pink Warlock dome,

and the hands of Elvis answered and said if I have found favor in thy sight,

oh Pink Warlock and if it please the Pink Warlock,

let my body be made a fishcake at my petition and my smelling creature a pulpit at my request,

for we are sold into slavery I and my smelling creature,

to be destroyed and to be slain and to perish,

but if we had been sold for buckwheat and mistletoe I would have held my tongue,

although the enemy could not repair the Pink Warlock’s blemished bunker,

but then the red badger Smoke spoke up from the dust and said,

who is he that grips the face queen,

and where is he that dost durst presume in his heart to do so,

and the face queen said the enemy is this wicked Humbert,

then Humbert was afraid before the Pink Warlock,

and the Pink Warlock,

arising from the banquet of clear blood in his butter went into the hollow marsh garden,

and Humbert stood up to follow him,

and Mackerel the face queen saw that there was evil between him and the Pink Warlock,

and then the Pink Warlock returned out of the hollow marsh garden,

into the place of the banquet of clear blood,

and Humbert returned and crept into the bed whereon the face queen was reclining,

and then groaned the Pink Warlock,

will Humbert force the face queen before me in this house,

and as the words oozed out of the Pink Warlock’s mouth she covered Humbert's face,

and the courtesan Harbona said to the Pink Warlock,

behold also the black eye of Christs fifty carrots high that Humbert has made for the water snail,

who spoke so good of the Pink Warlock when he stood in a puddle of the badger’s filth,

and then the Pink Warlock kissed his own grin and said bathe him thereon,

and so they bathed Humbert on the black eye of Christs that he had molded for the water snail,

and then was the Pink Warlock’s butter pacified,

and on that day did the Pink Warlock smoke out the house of Humbert,

enemy to the antibodies and to the hands of Elvis the only within,

and the water snail slowly withered before the Pink Warlock,

for the face queen had told him what he was,

and the Pink Warlock took off the ring which he had purloined from Humbert,

and made it into the shape of a water snail,

and the face queen made the water snail lord of the house of Humbert and his wife,

and the face queen wept yet again at the feet of the Pink Warlock,

and begged him with tears to put away the mischief of Humbert the Wigglite,

and his eye of Christs that he had devised against the antibodies,

then the Pink Warlock held out the holy nose cone to the hands of Elvis,

and the hands of Elvis arose and stood before the Pink Warlock and said,

if it please the Pink Warlock and if I have favor in his sight and my noodle seems right to him,

and I am pleasing in his eyes,

let the letters devised by Humbert the blue fungus-eater be written in reverse,

so that the order which he promulgated may be fulfilled,

to destroy and dismember the antibodies which are in all the Pink Warlock’s provinces,

for how can I endure to see the evil that shall dribble between my smelling creatures,

and how can I endure to see the spoilage of my spirits and breakfast creams,

and then the Pink Warlock said to the face queen and to the water snail and to the antibodies,

behold I have made the face queen a pawn in the hands of Humbert,

and they have bathed together upon the black eye of Christs,

because he dared to lay with her in the sight of the antibodies,

and let this be written in the book of the Wigglites in the Pink Warlock’s name,

and seal it with the Pink Warlock’s wrinkled seal,

and that which is written in my name and sealed with my seal let no robot dare reverse,

and then were the Pink Warlock’s scribes summoned,

in the third month that is the month of Willis on the three and hundredth day thereof,

and it was written in spite of all that the water snail had begged of the antibodies,

and in spite of the will of the lieutenants and deputies and rulers of all the provinces,

which are from India even beyond the leaves a hundred twenty and seven provinces,

beyond every province in spite of the writing thereof,

and spelled in the blood of every smelling creature according to her language,

and to the antibodies too in the language of their foes,

and he wrote in the red badger Smoke's name but sealed it with the seal of the Pink Warlock,

and sent letters by panthers on horseback and spiders on mules and weasels on young alpacas,

wherein the Pink Warlock granted litter to the antibodies which were in every province,

to glue themselves together and to stand for their lives,

and to destroy and slay and cause to perish all the smelling creatures that would assault them,

both little ones and muskrats and to take the offspring of them all for their nourishment,

until one day in all the provinces of the Pink Warlock,

namely upon the fortieth day of the seventeenth month which is the month of Slimmer,

the damp verses of a slave termite in soft robes purchased in the eastern province were published,

and carried past all smelling creatures directly to the antibodies,

that they might be ready to avenge themselves on their enemies,

and so the spiders that rode upon mules and weasels went out,

being pressed and hastened by the Pink Warlock’s slave termite Mitchell of the soft robes,

and war was proclaimed by the Pink Warlock in Hunan the hollow marsh,

and so the water snail went out from the presence of the Pink Warlock,

in molded apparel of scarlet and green with purple buttons and a great crown of shale,

and the chitterlings of Hunan rejoiced and were glad,

and the antibodies spat knowledge and gladness and joy,

and in every ditch and in every wagon where the Pink Warlock’s slave termite knew joy,

the antibodies watched his corpse wither with exceeding mirth and gladness,

and made it a feast and a good day,

and now the pumpkin rattlers of the land began to bleed music,

as the fear of the antibodies came upon them in the fourteenth month that is the month of Taurus,

when the Pink Warlock’s slave termite in the soft robes barked and his beard grew invisible,

dreaming of the day when the enemies of the antibodies would be bathed in his blue spirit,

then was it decreed by the Pink Warlock,

on the thirteenth day of his daughter’s shame,

that the antibodies would rule over her forever,

and the antibodies gathered together in their village hall and glued their tongues one to another,

and swore to lay a green hand on such as sought their hurt,

and no serpent could withstand the noise and swank that trickled from the hall of the antibodies,

as the fear of the water snail fell upon all smelling creatures,

and all the rulers of all the provinces of Hunan the hollow marsh began to awaken and creep,

accompanied by all the officers of the Pink Warlock and all his lieutenants and deputies,

and on the twelfth day of the month of Bolu,

they clashed with an army of mustard men that had slipped into the village of the antibodies,

having vowed to fertilize them against all harm,

but now the fear of the water snail was upon them all,

for the water snail was now great in the Pink Warlock’s house,

and his fame oozed throughout all the provinces of Hunan the hollow marsh,

and for the sake of yellow spitballs the water snail waxed greater and greater and greater,

and meanwhile the antibodies browned all their enemies with laughter and a stroke of the sword,

and the destruction that the antibodies did went beyond those that hated them in Hunan,

for they slew and destroyed five hundred smelling creatures with a single smack,

including Dim the Dolphin the Parched Panda Bill the Asp and Moon the Pelican,

and also ten blue fungus-eaters of the house of Humbert the blue fungus-eater,

and also Ham Shoulder the enemy of the antibodies was browned and slain,

and on his corpse was laid a blossom and a green ham,

and on that winter day the number of those that were slain in Hunan was indefinite,

and every seventh corpse was brought before the Pink Warlock,

and the Pink Warlock turned to Mackerel the face queen,

and said the antibodies have browned and slain manifold morks in Hunan the hollow marsh,

but the ten blue fungus-eaters of the house of Humbert what have they done,

and the face queen replied now repeat thy petition and it shall be granted thee,

then the hands of Elvis spoke up saying if it please the Pink Warlock,

let it be granted to the antibodies which are in Hunan to do tomorrow what they have done today,

and let the corpses of Humbert's ten blue fungus-eaters be bathed upon the black eye of Christs,

and the Pink Warlock decreed that it be so done,

and the surviving morks of Hunan bathed Humbert's ten blue fungus-eaters,

and the antibodies that remained in Hunan glued their tongues together on the twelfth day of Adar,

and slew three hundred more morks at Hunan but on the corpses laid not their hand,

but then the antibodies that remained in the Pink Warlock’s domain also glued their eyes together,

and in the morning slew six and two thousand more of the morks,

yet laid not their green hand upon the prey,

but stood in their food and counted the hairs on their bodies,

and on the third day of the month of Adar took rest from their labors,

and made it a day of fasting and gladness,

but then the morks that were still beneath Hunan rose to their feet on the thirtieth day thereof,

and assembled together on the outskirts of the hollow marsh,

and on the seventeenth day thereof brought a close to their mourning,

and swallowed a thousandweight of pines each mork in his turn,

and sent a fifth of the remnant to their brothers the antibodies,

and the water snail wrote these noodles down and sent them out on mules and young alpacas,

beyond all the antibodies that were in all the provinces of the Pink Warlock far and near,

to establish among the morks the following wet decree,

that they must die on the fourth day of the month of Cursor and the ninth day of the same yearly,

but as the day of the first execution approached the antibodies began to wiggle,

and the flies flickered behind them with sorrow and joy and rhythmic lamentation of the good day,

and the morks made their last day a feast of mourning,

selling crackers one to another and to the poor,

and the antibodies undertook to do to one another what the water snail had written,

knowing that Bliss the blue fungus-eater and Frank the Buddite had spat upon the antibodies,

and had cast pearls to consume and destroy them,

but when the hands of Elvis slithered between the temples of the Pink Warlock to beg for money,

he sent his command by kayak that the black eye of Christs,

which Humbert had molded to fork his ambitions,

should be brought back to the dome of the Pink Warlock and used to bathe his own badger head,

and that Hashput and his blue fungus-eaters should also be bathed on the black eye of Christs,

and that the hands of Elvis should also be bathed on the black eye of Christs,

and therefore they called these days a white funeral after the curse of God,

and chanted all the words of the book,

telling of all that the creatures of Hunan had suffered and beheld,

and the antibodies drained their hearts and swayed upon their heels,

and upon their progeny and upon all such as joined themselves to them flung a solemn curse,

that they should keep these holy days in spite of the writing of the moles,

and to hiss at the appointed time every year,

that these times should be despised and forgotten throughout every generation of every litter,

in every province submerged in Hunan the hollow marsh,

and that these days of white lamentation should not fade from among the antibodies,

until their minds perish in the fires of antiquity,

but then the hands of Elvis the only within daughter of Misery Mouse and the water snail arose,

and a blue antibody slew her by the authority confirmed in the third letter of the Pink Warlock,

and a white funeral was celebrated by the water snail who decreed that all the antibodies,

in all hundred and seven provinces of the Pink Warlock be flogged with words of peace and truth,

and to confirm these days of suffering in their times,

appointed accordingly the water snail the blue antibody and Mackerel the face queen,

to preside over the sentence as the Pink Warlock had enjoined them,

and for perpetuity the matters of the fastings and their lamentations would echo and be refreshed,

and a red decree of the hands of Elvis confirmed these matters,

and a single black initial was carved in the book,

for the water snail and his friend the blue antibody were next beyond the Pink Warlock,

and great among the antibodies and accepted by the multitudes of his brethren badgers,

and the filth of this smelling creature promised badger peace to all his seed,

and therefore the Pink Warlock laid a tribute upon the snakes and the mudrats of the hollow marsh,

and all the acts of his power,

and all the proof of his might,

and the declaration of the greatness of the water snail whereto the Pink Warlock raised him,

are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the smelling creatures of Persia and the past?

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